Atlaude: Reconciliation as a tool for creation

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by Atlaude

A journey of self discovery, a piece that acts as a mirror. The short film Saboteur Me is an intellectual exercise of seeing ourselves reflected within common, daily shadows and struggles that prevent us from achieving our goals. It is formed by few colorful shapes aesthetically composed into characters that both please our eyes and leave space to create a necessary tension. As this dainty tension intensifies, as the comparison gets deeper, answers find their way towards the viewers, towards us.

The idea of the piece takes root in the subconscious of the creator, starting in the early stages of the creation process. The inner fight, contempt, disappointment and undervaluation play a strong role in the conversation between our brain and our soul when creating. From the most notorious painter to each single, silent human in the loneliness of a suburban room, our nature is shared and unavoidable. Our internal voices play against us, we often feel that our ideas are not good enough, never good enough to be materialized, trash, undesirable things that don’t deserve the right to see the light of day. Ultimately, they are worse than others. 

Me, my most feared enemy

This undesired but absolutely real self-flagellation seems to act as an inescapable inflection point: 

It can beat the individual and completely shatter an idea
If overcome, it gives wings to the creator’s soul to flourish and create

This phenomenon, this elephant in the room, is broadly called self-sabotaging. It lives inside each one of us, which leads to the question; If natural, if inherent to the human condition, why should we fight against it?

Trash must burn
Never good enough
Can’t do better
Lose more time
You better leave

After many years as a creator, I did finally find a comforting answer to the issue: Learn to dance with your demons.

Demons are real

The idea behind this sort of catchy sentence comes from the Butoh dance. Created by Tatsumi Hijikata and Kazuo Ono, Butoh seeks the form of the primal body, the body that has been stolen from us. 

I firmly believe that we as human beings are born in our pure essence, with a healthy balance of good and evil. We pollute ourselves with countless factors afterwards, circumstances that gradually steal our purity and tend to gradually tip the balance towards obscurity. Circumstances that infect us and nest in our deep being.

We must accept the new demons developed in our subconscious, we must embrace them. The previous premise, win or lose, is not valid in a world where black and white meet at gray. Dancing with our demons is the third way and, from my understanding, the most humanly possible solution to craft our own path to new horizons of creation.

I reconcile Me

Explore yourself, accept that your brain might have learnt to punish you constantly to avoid exposing you to failure. If it doesn’t allow you to create, it will never have to handle external pressure, critics or painful voices. Your brain has learnt to protect you, and it isn’t really its fault as the intention is keeping you safe every single day. Hold hands with it, accept that this new part exists, coexists inside you, and start the process of reconciliation.

I accept You
You accept Me
I reconcile Me

The 6 original pieces that conform Saboteur Me are going to be minted into exclusive NFTs, each one being a limited 1/1 edition open for bidding.

The Idea that never comes
Edition 1 of 1

Concept, Illustration and Animation: Atlaude

Original Sound design and music: Tonetest Sound Studio

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